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     It was never a thought that you would indeed have to destroy the earth in order to survive. Afterall, a home is not a home unless there is serenity and balance. Our home was on fire and all we could do was roll over and watch it burn. This year was indescribable as there had never been so much loss. Unfamiliar with the silence and vastness of it all, many were unsure as to what they could believe and what was simply not possible. What was to come next? This was the time for darkness, this was the time for death.The fog of nothingness crept across the oceans we had polluted and abused. It climbed the melted mountain peaks and snuck through the singed forests. The smoldering cities and broken architecture of humanity waited for their turn. Man hid and tried to escape and grab space for themselves, but to no avail, for this cape of decay and destruction was looking for them specifically. Life was almost over. The nature of things and histories of all were no longer a thought or a dream. Was there anything, anyone, left to question...left to love? 

     

     Chaos is the natural state of humanity. We were cast into this state long ago. The entire time we were controlled by those who seized control from those who had sinned before them. These men, who thrived on the chaos they created and filled the mouths of all with hate and ignorance, pulled the strings of the populations for many centuries. As we were led into this hell on earth some made sense of it all. They knew better. The sad truth would be that there was no hope for these poor souls. They never stood a chance against the hidden evil and disloyalty of man. Having just enough to have hope we pushed on as a species and dealt with the major chaotic spectacles event by event. Protests were had and martyrs forced themselves into the realities of all. People in the end just stopped caring and this is where

it all ended and our story begins. 

11/11/14

They have won 

I feel unworthy 

I flip the page

Six packs - biceps - glutes 

I click the phone on

Swoosh my fingers across the screen 

Scroll down 

I fall deeper into my woe 

Good morning runs and poetically stated daily goals bombard the half dazed conscious that makes a percentage of me whole. I am not sure what to do. 

I click the phone off. 

Can't judge a book by its face 

I look through 

Friends married 

Interesting trips abroad

Chaotic nights out 

I drink my cup of iced tea 

Thirsty for more 

I look at my dog

She looks at me

We are true to eachother 

Is there more? 

She replies there isn't 

I scratch her behind the ears 

We both go to sleep 

Sinking up

You could just sink in and fade away 

Close your eyes and slip

Slowly down 

Every expression frozen in the vastness 

Of unknowing. Nothing will be explained in this meeting of energies. You are not better or worse. You are. A realization that up until now was somehow lost and forgotten. Yes you ARE! 

How simple and beautiful. 

You ARE. Apart of it all. The motions...the swings...the pulls. Like a flower bending it's petals back to the morning sun you arise anew. Fresh. Your body ready. It is a machine you know. Optimal performance for the initiated its only task. But the body is not of question. Slip away again in all of your strength. The mind makes its move. Cunning and unconcerned. It stikes. Control is lost. Ability stomped out. Limbs pulled down. Defeated. Unloved. Persuaded by simple thought. Not enough. Too much. You've taken. You've given. You move down. Down you move. It is time. Checkmate. MINE D

OOOber

B.M.E --- OOOber
 BeginMiddleEnd
{B}welcome - we get in.
Slide right on into the back.
Stuff one in the front.
Evaluate the room on the sides.
3 more? Let's go.
Twister time - right hand red - left foot green.
Burn outs. Druggies. Pimps and Hos. Those on top.
Those in the middle. And those on the bottom.
Dejected. Illuminated. Second Wind. Push on.
Ample greetings. Slutty movement in the back.
}M{A snort. A sniffle. A snore.
I look out my window.
An unfinished hangman. Head. Torso. One Arm.
G O _ _ _ _. I give up.
Look down. Look up.
Who is this? Why are you helping me?
Don't you know who I am?
I am evil. I am want. I am viral.
Consume with me as we devour the chunks left.
I am here for you. Mild yet ever so strong.
That smoothness after the crunch.
Menthol goodness frosting my insides.
The wet air smacking my face.
{E}I am Clyde.

The Battle of Grau

As she escaped the shrinking corridor
ruining an assured flat ending
she noticed the tiny light at the end of what seemed like a future years away
ah but she had seen this before this eery light
sharp and bright
there it stood there it lingered

everything stopped now
yes she had seen this before but where
how could this light stop her
her that fought the dinosaur
slain the king of the second peak
this young killer in her prime after millennia of wait
stopped by a light

the tip of the light caught her attention first
the tip shown through
brighter than the rest bet ever so unattainable
alas the tip was not the tip but rather the end
beginning of the end for some and an end all the same for the rest

she drew her sword steadfast
sharp and long with a tip of its own
she knew this blade well
every inch of its weight memorized by its handler
the sword knew her as well
meshed metal guts and ripped leather limbs
on the edge of itself at all times made for touch
this was a true love

replacing her face mask for a face of innocence lost
she continued her march her mission
the light struck first
tip meeting tip
but this was an end you see
for are young victor was more than a match
she was legend

the light strayed and plunged back to its place amongst the stars
this battle, the first of many, was over before it started
a testing of powers and ultimately a victory for at least one
but she feels no power in victory

no thoughts of joy
for you see between darkness and light there is gray
and this was a preview to the ability of neutrality to become more
because it is the best of both worlds it is between

darkness watches from its slumber
the time will come it says
for it is eve now and light has lost its beam
escape with me one last time
to the future of the presented past

Confused Beginning and a Stomach Ache

My Last Wednesday Night

My last Wednesday night was unlike the rest
Memorized passwords punched out for the last time
Deletions and subconscious browsing no longer in drive
The last sticky gummy line to lick on a white leaf paper
The clock hits 10

Movement reluctant but fingers click rapidly on the black clicker
Laughter and pleasure injected methodically by the tube
Last of everything scattered over the remaining hours
All the while stretch back and down and to the side
The clock strikes 7

Still alive
I did not die
Time to relive a life
A Lie

Hump Day
Hump Away
Hump if You May
Hump My Way

They know something I don't
My clocks opportune moments are barely sneaking by
I notice them as though I didn't
I cannot lie to myself
My eyes to eager to put me down
I dwell in all that is not me
And accept myself not at all
I am my own worst enemy
Who I am
The ATE in HATE and spit it back out just to eat it again the next day
This is heaven free to run amuck
Or hell free to run amuck
I know what this is
This opportunity of life
How can I legend a change and warp a mind into bliss
My challenge is a stage and I am the director
My ability to visualize the applause is all I have left
Because win to lose or lose to win

The clock strikes 3:00
To bed it is.